Successful Marriages, What's the Secret?

As it turns out, many of us are looking for the keys to a happy and successful marriage. So, what is the secret to a happy marriage? Is it really a secret? How can you be assured that your marriage will be satisfying and successful?

Is the key to a happy marriage really a secret?

Not really, I mean if you are really interested in making your marriage succeed you can find all the information that you need to make this happen. It’s not a secret; you just have to want it bad enough. We can search for the answers and come up with all kinds of ideas and people telling you that they have the “secret” but really the secret lies within you and your partner.

What’s the so called secret?

To be honest there are several “secrets” and they are very simple and easy to understand. Did you know that birth order can also play a role in how well you and your spouse get along? It seems that there is some evidence to support that.

1. Never marry someone that you want to change. Love them for who they are and accept them because you will never change them. The bottom line is that you will both become miserable.

2. Always be ready and willing to forgive. Successful couples will seek and offer forgiveness to one another. Don’t be afraid to offer up an apology or accept one. Don’t dwell on things learn to let it go.

3. Have a positive attitude toward one another. Respect, affection and empathy are some great things to share with each other. Keep things positive.

4. Marry someone that you enjoy being with. Have fun with your spouse, laugh and do fun things together.

5. Never put each other down especially in front of others. Learn how to be supportive and uplifting to your partner.

6. All couples fight, learn how to fight skillfully. Use the pronouns we, us and ours as opposed to You, I, me or mine. It’s okay to disagree but choose your words wisely.

7. Remember, you are in this relationship for the long haul. You and your partner married for life and that is the way you should treat each other. Don’t just make promises to one another make a commitment.

8. Have fun together, play together, and plan some date nights.

9. Keep in mind that the grass is not greener on the other side; the grass is greener where it’s watered. So take the time to “water” your relationship.

10. Choose to stay in love with each other. Yes, it is a choice and you can embrace it or toss it away the option is yours.

Relationships are not always easy, but there are not hard all the time either. They are a lot like life, filled with ups and downs, and choices. The choices that you make will either strengthen your marriage or destroy it.

What makes a marriage? There are so many components to a marriage that works what works for one couple may not work for another. One thing that I find to be true is that you both need to speak the same language. I’m not talking about English, French etc. I am talking about understanding one another.

My husband and I speak fluent sarcasm and have taught it to our children. We don’t get offended easily and we understand without explanation how the other one feels.

Just the other day we were in a restaurant placing an order and we both spoke at the same time, saying the same thing. Not once, but twice. The waitress laughed and said, “You’ve been married awhile, haven’t you?” We laughed, and replied “twenty five years.”

A marriage is a growing, living thing that has its ups and downs. I have found that there are times when I look at my husband and think, “Wow, I love him so much he is amazing.” However, there are times when I think, “I could just strangle him, what was I thinking marrying him?”

I believe this is true in all marriages. There will be times that you feel very close to your partner and other times that you will not. Never think you are the only one that thinks that, your partner is going through the same thing, thinking the same thoughts on occasion.

This is normal and will continue to happen throughout the relationship. The key is to ride out the times when you feel as though you are not close and do something to bring you back together. Date nights are usually good therapy for this.

Successful couples know and understand the dynamics of relationships. They don’t expect too much, but they expect just enough.